Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I Give Green Porno "The Most Passionate 20-Arm Embrace"

Time for a new season of Green Porno, the most important film project of our time. By now, I am sure you're aware that Isabella Rossellini spends much of her time in crafty getups, doing it with various oddball creatures. This season features anchovy orgies, sea lion polygamy and Isabella on squid sex, "... I would give the most passionate twenty-arm embrace. Twenty? Well, eighteen. Two are not arms."

Here, the star poses as a fetching naked shrimp.

The new episodes, broadcast on the Sundance Channel and viewable online, are charming and wacky, but the intense WTF-quality of the first season has been supplanted by more of a narrative, educational framework. Several pieces start with Ms. Rossellini cooking members of the species in question (not the sea lions) on a cute kitchen set. She muses about where her food comes from and this segueways, dream sequence-like into the dress-up skits. Sometimes Isabella speaks with a biologist who answers questions on mating and environmental threats. It all just makes a little more sense, and that makes me a little sad.

The website has some silly new features. The Green Porno name generator assigned me "Bramble Hairstreak", which suits me entirely. And here you can find out what insect-based type of lover you are with a surprisingly dirty quiz:





Here are the other times I've mentioned Green Porno: