Monday, March 23, 2009

What To Wear To An Orgy

Playboy has put a bunch of their archives online. (You'll have to download Microsoft Silverlight to view them. Don't resist the software. It made for great browsing.)
This is a cover from May 1971 and it's a lot artier than the covers of today. I especially like the shot of the hand. Is she signing something?













I hit the jackpot with the first issue I chose to go through. Like most Americans, I love the fantasy of suburban key parties and the Cheever-esque despair that follows. (It's only an aesthetic thing; please don't invite me to your little get together.) This article about a house in the Illinois suburbs, described as, "a live-in adult toy," is the very archetype.



























I zoomed in for a closeup from a panoramic party shot to call your attention to two things: the glossy, naked-lady statue, casually leaning by the couch, and perhaps more importantly, the red, quilted maxi-skirt and matching jacket on the woman at right. These wacky 70s adults may have misunderstood the invitation. Polly Bergen clarifies and explains correct dress code in her 1977 book I'd Love to But What Do I Wear?:

"Please Come To Our Little Den of Iniquity:
If you're invited for a group swing, don't immediately reach for your petticoats and your square-dancing skirt, Nowadays such events rarely have a caller, and your petticoats would be sure to get in the way (not to mention the lace bodice!)...
Since this book should serve as a dressing guide to the modern woman in all likely (and unlikely) circumstances, I'd like to pass on a few pointers:
Number 1.
Don't wear anything that binds or leaves marks on the body. It's very unattractive.
Number 2.
Omit stockings and underwear if possible. Not only do they leave marks on the body when they come off-- they're also likely to get in your way and be unnecessarily cumbersome.
Number 3.
Wear sexy clothes. They should be very body conscious (like the guests) and should emphasize your best features. Whatever clings is fine. This is a perfect occasion to wear any see-through garments you own, though even in this situation the see-through blouse should not merely be a soft windowpane, but should rather be suggestive. If everything's laid out for inspection, some people will stay with the window shopping and never come in.
Number 4.
Sew name tags on all articles of personal property-- it's easier to reclaim them afterward."