Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Stacy Cohen Part 2: Sexy Spirituality

Last week, I introduced you to the deeply peculiar Stacy Cohen and her "opulent" lifestyle book, The Kosher Billionaire's Secret Recipe.
What with all the photos of Stacy, photos of Stacy in front of her jet, and photos of Stacy writhing around in opulent clothing on her jet, the mechanics of exactly how going Kosher will glamour up my own life remain elusive. I went back to the book for a second, closer read.

The chapter Sexy Spirituality did little to clear my confusion:

... now you hold the key to the good life! It is a way of living, a sensibility that has the capacity to alter who you are at the deepest, cellular level...
By journeying alongside me, you and I have taken the world by storm! You've slipped on a pair of gorgeous Lacroix pumps and donned that signature red Valentino gown; you've discovered the healthy kosher regimen that allows you to enjoy the finest foods the world has to offer, all while maintaining great health and vigorous beauty.
...Your life will be brighter, more delicious, more exciting, perhaps filled with more joy and love than you ever thought possible!

Astute readers may begin to suspect that each time Stacy says "you," she really means herself. I need more than a glimpse into the carpeted stairwell on which she stores her collection of (spiritual) stilettos. I need useful tips for every day. Finally Stacy comes through.

In India:
Wear gold jewelry: Traditionally, Indian women wear gold jewelry against their skin at all times. From earrings, bracelets, and bangles, to rings for fingers and toes, and even ankle bracelets-- gold jewelry is the must-have accessory in the Indian wardrobe, Formerly a symbol of a family's wealth and the dowry it paid at the time of a daughter's wedding, golf jewelry is beloved from north to south. You'll never see an Indian lady without it... and you shouldn't be seen without it either!

And in Greece:
It's a snap to stay healthy and tan and sexy here, all while dreaming of that slow and gentle cruise on a private yacht once owned by Ari Onassis.

In case you've gotten the wrong idea about exactly what Stacy is trying to communicate with all the shoes, jewels and dropped names, here she clarifies her personal style:

I use fashion as a way to communicate elegance, sophistication, and my love of art. I am drawn to colors that are vibrant and fun, and prefer styles that are simple in their use of lines and forms, such as Matisse's Icare (Icarus/JAZZ), which is my favorite artwork.

Please don't resent Stacy for her opulence. Her life is not as easy as it looks. There's a dark side to all the smug glamour. Everywhere she goes, there is someone... watching... waiting...

She wears a brave face beneath that tiara but she knows she cannot elude them for long, for they are everywhere, and they are gaining in numbers.

If you do not click to enlarge these photos, you are really doing yourself a disservice. Especially this next shot.

Stacy chose a quote from Plato to caption her stunning moment in the vineyard, but I think her own words will do:

Toss your dreams into the air and make a wish you might be surprised at what comes back to you... a new love, a new home, a new you!

As I mentioned in my last post on Stacy, she and her husband are serious philanthropists. I found it sweet that in a section vaguely about fitness, Stacy suggests replacing some of the time you've set aside for yoga or aerobics with volunteer work, and points out that many of the same health benefits will be derived, along with the knowledge that you've made a difference to someone. I think that is good advice, but this book is bananas. And I think you know by now that it has a permanent place in my collection, and in my heart.

Now I'll let Stacy say goodbye by blowing you a kiss. Or just pouting her lips over a tropical flower. That she picked when she flew to the tropics on her private jet.

Believe in yourself and you too can become a glamorous jet-setter!